‘Tell someone you’re proud of just how proud you are.’
My parents got married in 1959, my father was 28 and mother 18. My father worked in the Indian railways and they have lived in different places in our country.
My father retired in 1987. Earlier they had purchased some land and a house in the small town where my maternal grandparents and family lived. They lived in that beautiful house till September, last year.
(With their great grandson)
My mother has always loved to worry. I used to tease her that she had really nothing much to worry about so she loved to worry about others and their life. She has also been scared about health problems. A slight change and she would worry about its effect on her health. Last year we came to know my father was slowly declining, mentally and physically. It was an adversity which she never imagined would come their way. She kept denying it. I was worried about her. Would she be able to face whatever was going to come their way?
‘Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.’ ~Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha
Then in October my brother came over and my parents went to their place. It would not be possible for them to stay alone. My mother had always believed they would stay in their home till the end of their days. Though it hurt to leave, she kept her mind open and learned to take what came their way. She learnt that from my father’s elder brother’s wife. It is very heartbreaking to see our loved ones becoming a different person in front of us and also to watch the steady decline.There is such a feeling of helplessness. But my mother is showing her true strength and looking after her dear husband with great love and care. Of course there is someone to help from morning to night. And most important there is family support, love and care from all of us and very precious love and support from my brother, sister-in-law and family. Family love and support, that is the most important thing in life. We are lucky if we have that. I am really proud of my mother.
‘There is in every true woman’s heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which kindles up, and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity.’ ~Washington Irving, The Sketch Book, 1820