On the 21st of this month we performed the death anniversary rituals for my father-in-law. After the rites lunch is eaten on banana leaves. On such occasions we sit on rectangular wooden planks kept on the floor. This is traditional seating in villages. We have a banana plant in our garden but there were not enough leaves. We bought some from the vegetable shop.
Later I saw that we had bought more than necessary. I did not want to waste the leaves, so I made bottle gourd kottige. It is a kind of vegetable idli. Batter is made from rice and pieces of bottle gourd are added to the mixture. We spread the mixture in banana leaves, fold them so that the batter stays in place. Then steam them in an idli making vessel which we call attinalage in Kannada. We steam them for an hour in the evening and re-heat them in the morning before breakfast.
Homemade butter is a good combination for kottige. We eat curds every day for lunch and dinner. I set them at home. Every morning I remove the cream and store it in a vessel in the fridge. When it is full, I churn the cream in the mixer. The liquid that is left is buttermilk. I use it as stock in certain curries. Long back curd was churned manually. There is very beautiful photograph of my husband’s grandmother churning curds. It was taken by my father-in-law’s younger brother.
There is very popular food channel called Bhat n Bhat in Kannada. It is hosted by two brothers and their family belonging to our community. Their recipes and videos are followed by hundreds of thousands of people. People of South India who live abroad write very nostalgic comments on their YouTube videos. Yesterday they showed how to make Olan. It is curry made with ash gourd and coconut milk. There was Ash gourd at home, and I made it today. We all liked the taste.
Our grandchildren loved all the gifts. Kavya said very enthusiastically “yes!!” when I asked her if she liked the mat. I was thrilled.
Thank you for sharing these rituals and traditions. It is beautiful to honor grief with this tradition of “death anniversary”, family gathering together. Loved learning about the banana leaves and all the yummy foods that connect.
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You write so beautifully about the foods and rituals you love. I feel like sometimes I cook without cherishing the food, the fact that I have food to cook. Thank you for encouraging me to think differently.
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I think food means so much more if it is connected to a ritual or an occasion of some sort. I am always fascinated by the history behind what you do that you share.
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That is a stunning mat. Anybody would be pleased to own it!
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I love the mat. Such a beautiful mix of colours!
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I love watching the Bhat channel.
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I love learning about your life in South India. I’m off to find the Bhat channel.
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To think you still churn your own butter and make your own buttermilk! That mat is gorgeous!
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Your life shared here, the death anniversary celebration, the photos of banana leaves as perfect cooking envelopes, the beautiful gift mat—these are so special, personal; they make everything hopeful, honorable. Thank you for this.
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These rituals are an excellent way of keeping memories alive
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