If only (Slice of Life)

I feel that the two saddest words, or the two most pathetic words, in any language are “if only”. They reveal a sadness, a regret, a sense of loss or of disillusionment. Some time ago I heard someone say with regret that they should have maintained a more affectionate relationship with a close relative. They had not done so. They understood what they had lost only after the relative passed away. So, if only…

We take our decisions based on what we think at a particular moment. We are convinced then that we are right. It is only later that we come to know whether we are right or wrong.  A senior relative once said to me with great regret that the decisions he had taken five decades earlier seem to him now to be wrong. Life in India has changed drastically in the last twenty years. Before that life went on in the same way as it had done for generations. No one in their wildest dreams would have imagined the changes that would come. I feel that his decisions were correct for those times and when he took them. But still, he sometimes experiences a deep sense of regret.

Very often we place an individual upon a pedestal. But, at some moment in life we realize they are not what we thought them to be. When we like a person, their negative points do not really matter to us. We all have plus and minus points. When we become disillusioned about that person the negative points become more important. There is a saying in my language which goes, “all colours were swallowed up by soot.” Many a time we move away from people who had once been close to us. We move on, and they are left far behind. If only…

Then, what about accidents? We always say “if only we had not done this or that.” Last November, our son slipped and fell just outside the entrance of his college. He suffered three fractures in his ankle. It had to be operated upon. He is fine now, but the after-effects are still present. We used to think, if only he had not walked down the steps or if only my husband had reached there a little earlier, life would have been different. At least he has recovered. Many a time accidents happen, and life changes drastically. Nothing is the same any more. That is a terrible situation. There is no consolation at all for the people involved. If only they had been more careful. But accidents continue to happen.

Here, in our land, our belief that “what has to happen will happen” helps us to face many difficult situations in life. We do our best and leave the rest to God or whatever or whoever we believe in.

“In a minute there is time for decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.”
~T.S. Eliot

Endpoint 13th (8)

If only (Slice of Life)

 

 

 

 

By Lakshmi Bhat

I am a person who believes there is not enough darkness in the world to extinguish the light of a small candle. We live in a small place in South India. I love reading, blogging, stitching, traveling, photography, listening to people and many other things which make life so very nice and interesting. Blogging is a fun experience, it has brought me into contact with people in different parts of the world and it is good to read about their everyday life. In spite of the differences there is a sameness which is fascinating. I have learnt and am learning something everyday. I have learnt to write haikus. I enjoy combining the thought and the number of syllables. I have always read books and I was happy to write short fiction. I had thought I would not be able to do so. Stream of Consciousness and photo challenges are fun too. Yes, there is so much in life that is sad and that hurts us. Many a time I wonder why life is so unfair to so many. We all have problems in life but the problems of many seems unbearable. This makes me feel so helpless. It is not possible to help everyone but we can do our bit, we can do something to help some in whatever way we can. I go to the Home for the Mentally challenged in our campus twice a week. I have been going there since 2011. The members are an important part of my life. The Covid has made it difficult for me to go there regularly. There have been many challenges in life and we have faced them with a positive approach. Our grandson and granddaughter have made life so much more richer.

5 comments

  1. I sometimes think, “If only my back were better, then I could do this…..do that….and so on” But in actual fact, I have learnt more from being ill than I learnt in any school. Just put your trust in your God and you may learn so much about life.

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    1. Very true Sir, when we learnt that our Aravinda, had vision problem, when he was four months, we felt the same. But we faced the challenge and Aravinda is doing well. Life teaches us so much.

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  2. One of the biggest challenges in life, I think, is in living in what is, not what might be or might have been. We are neither in the future, nor in the past. Good thoughts of yours on this topic.

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